Today I feel both disappointed and relieved.

I feel disappointed because John Kerry and John Edwards didn't win. It's a little like cheering for your favorite sports team if your favorite sports team directed the economy, the military and the governance of law.

A lot of people like cheering for the Yankees because the Yankees win. If you had to choose your favorite team based on how they played, how they treated their fans, etc., the distribution would be more even. Or people just wouldn't care which is what happens more often in politics.

When John Kerry and John Edwards didn't win, it doesn't mean I won't vote for Democrats two years from now. I'll still be back cheering for the same team because the same things will be important to me then and it will be the same team which will be able to deliver them to me.

As I've expressed elsewhere, this one in particular would've been nice to win.

I'm relieved because it came down to votes. There was no last minute surprise "Hey, we have Osama bin Laden," or "Holy shit, President Bush raped a bear. And that bear was my father!" shit. I think that's the stuff which really turns people off to politics and makes them think their vote doesn't count. This election really was about courting the voters, talking about issues and who is the better man for the job.

There are still votes to be counted and the television networks don't choose the president. It would be great if Bush were ushered out the same way he was ushered in. However, I'm waking up to an America in which George W Bush is the President and I can finally react to that.

The nation selected George W Bush. They elected a foreign policy where the United States actively uses its military might, a domestic policy which supports businesses who are then responsible for supporting their employees and a moral policy which is very conservative. They also selected leaving things as they are over how things could be.

And I'm not sure I fit with that. I don't fit with the Bush Administration's interpretations for sure. Yet a lot of voters looked past the pragmatic and went on the basis of values. While I can relate to those values, they aren't mine.

Atleast I know where I stand. And I can start setting my course from there.

Whether that is me following through on my festering urge to move out of the US or just into a deeper blue state or the exact opposite by going into a red state and helping to bridge the gap, I don't know.

Today is a brand new day. Today my relief is to be starting.